Monday, March 1, 2010

How long, O Lord?

So last Thursday I had my Old Testament midterm. I think I did pretty well. I always leave feeling a little less than confident about my essays, though. It is a challenge to write two high-quality essays, along with the rest of the short answer and identification on the test, in just an hour and a half. It takes time to create a thoughtful and well structured essay. I felt like I was just hastily writing down every fact I knew about the prophets and psalms. But I’m hoping for the best! My TA is Lutheran, so he should be full of grace…right?

One of the essays I selected to answer was on the lament psalms. I ended up having only like 10 minutes to spend on this essay, but I enjoyed writing it. It felt like I learned something while writing, and to my surprise I got a little “preachy” towards my conclusion. So I guess I’d just like to share what I wrote and learned.

Lament psalms are psalms of grief, anger, or pain. One of the prompts was for us to discuss the implications of the loss of lament. My professor has talked about how the language of lament isn’t in our prayers and how the lament psalms don’t really show up in church liturgy.

So what happens when we lose the lament form? Well, in the words of the esteemed Walter Bruggemann (a retired Old Testament professor and author of like 100+ books), the lost of lament is costly. When we lose lament, we lose genuine covenant relationship with God. We lose a relationship that is personal, honest and sometimes brutal. The fact that we are in a covenant relationship with God means that we can offer more than just praise. Interaction and communion between both parties involves vulnerable authenticity and trust. Genuine covenantal love flows out of the faith that integrates confessions of questioning, doubts, and fears with songs of worship.

I think maybe our culture doesn’t allow us the time to express grief or fear, especially with others or in the public eye. It is a sad testimony to culture that has made the individual sacrosanct and self-sufficiency an eschatological aim. We are afraid to share our fears and pain with each other, maybe because we think we should have it all together. But church shouldn’t be a place where everyone feels like they have to have it all together. If we don’t allow ourselves to express the full range of real human experience with God, we’ll end up denying and covering up parts of ourselves. There is no new life or transformation via cover-up and denial. God is no longer a God who transforms our lives but just guarantor of the status quo. Our faith becomes infantilized if all we do is tune in to positive thinking. As a future church leader, I hope I am able give space to the language of lament as a part of worship.

Hmm…well, I could probably say more but for now I must get back to my studies. I have a pretty big “to-do” list this week. The first installment of my History of Christian Thought midterm is tomorrow. That’s right, my professor is giving us a two-day midterm. I am starting to get a little nervous.

On a different note, I am beyond excited for Spring Break. I will be in Mobile for 9 whole days! It has been too long since I have been home for a visit. I can’t wait to see family, friends and a special someone. :)

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